Jupiter is EVIL!

Jupiter is the fifth and largest planet in our solar system!
It is a gas giant (hehe) and it has at least 95 moons.

OUTRAGEOUS!!!

What could it possibly be planning with all those moons?
Jupiter is also more than twice as massive as all the other planets combined.
But despite all this, Jupiter does not have a surface. And has the shortest day in the solar system.
One day on Jupiter takes only about 10 hours.

PREPOSTEROUS!!!

10 hours?? Do scientists really expect us to believe that a planet that WIDE could possibly rotate that fast?
BUT WAIT! were not just going to talk about the planet... no.
It has multiple forms...
The roman god, Jupiter is the god of the sky.
His Greek equivalent is Zeus and his Norse equivalent is Thor.
THOR!
Marvel created an entire comic series about Thor.
MARVEL IS LINKED TO JUPITER!
And there's more...
The god, Jupiter is also known as Jove.
JOVE!
AS IN "BY JOVE!"
"By jove" is most commonly said by the british!
You know what that means!
THE MONARCHY IS LINKED TO JUPITER!

OH MY JEEPERS!!!

And it still gets worse...
SAILOR FREAKIN' JUPITER!
SAILOR FREAKIN' JUPITER FROM SAILOR MOON!
ANIME IS LINKED WITH JUPITER!
ALL MEDIA IS JUPITER PROPAGANDA!
SHE'S JUPITER!
YOU'RE JUPITER!
I'M JUPITER!

ALL IS JUPITER!!!